bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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