We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My life is pants optional.
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