I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
