Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
