there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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