very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
