Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
