I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I wear drunk well.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
