so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
