Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
