This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
