K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
soo... how was my night?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
