Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
