I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
