I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
