I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
