found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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