please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
