I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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