Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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