There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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