How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i barfeds in our rink
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
