She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
