singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
