how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
please come you make the beer taste better
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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