she woke up with a sticky ear
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
