I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The air was thick with penises
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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