Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
