have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
