New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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