He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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