It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize