I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
