Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
