using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
