every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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