He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
kristin has been a bad kristin
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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