I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
