You just made me feel so damn special
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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