Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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