if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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