My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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