I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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