sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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