So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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