I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i think my cat just said my name.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
