so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
