If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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