I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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