Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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